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Suture Self

by Mary Daheim

The intrepid cousins, Judith and Reine, are at it again in this tongue-in-cheek look at general hospital routines. Mary Daheim has the gift of taking anything - and any organization - available within her sphere of knowledge to demonstrate just how ridiculous it can get. In the present case, Ms. Daheim takes on the hospital with its regular (and intrusive) checking on 'vital signs', blah hospital food, and the close-mouthed nurses reluctant to give out any type of information.

In Suture Self, Judith and Reine have both scheduled operations at Good Cheer Hospital, a Catholic institution and the only one in the area which performs orthopedic surgery. Due to a cancellation, both operations are performed on the same day, and the cousins manage recovery in the same hospital room. Judith has had an operation for a hip replacement, and Reine for a new rotator cuff in her shoulder.

What has given both women cause for concern isn't the operations, but the fact that two famous people had minor operations in that same hospital before them - and died shortly after with no apparent complications. One was a well-known, respected baseball pitcher, Joaquin Somosa; and the other was Joan Fremont, an actress who was also the wife of a local newpaper reporter, Addison Kirby. Mr. Kirby thinks his wife was murdered.

Everything is fine until another famous personality comes in for knee surgery. Bob Randall is a quarterback who is placed in the room next to the cousins for recovery after his operation. He dies suddenly without any signs of difficult recovery symptoms. Now Judith is sure someone is killing off people. Since she has little else to occupy her mind while she recovers, she determines to figure out why, how, and who the murderer could be. Judith isn't yet mobile herself, so she has to use Reine at first to do the legwork for her.

Suspects abound. There are those on the hospital staff itself who come under suspicion - Dr. Garnett, who operated on the famous personalities and all the nurses and nuns who attemded them. There is the Chief of Staff, Dr. Van Boeck, who has a less than happy relationship with Dr. Garnett - and Dr. Van Boeck's political and domineering wife, Blanche. Then there is Mr. Mummy, the mysterious patient in the room across the hall, and even Addison Kirby, who was run down in the hospital parking lot after arguing with the hospital staff about his dead wife. Mr. Kirby is now in the room formerly occupied by Bob Randall. Finally there are all the relatives and friends who came to visit those recovering, including Jim Randall, Bob's brother and mirror twin, plus Marge Randall, Bob's depressive and depressing wife, who also volunteers at Good Cheer.

Sub-plots bring in Judith's mother Gertrude and her ongoing displeasure with Judith's husband, Joe. Judith's former husband (now deceased) was Dan, who also has a mother named Effie, with whom Judith has attempted to keep in touch. Effie lives in an Arizona retirement community, and remains obtuse at best. Mike, Judith's son, is a married forest ranger living in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. Mike calls his mother to annouce the imminent arrival of a new baby, and asks his mother to inform Effie of the fact. Mike also wants Judith to create a family tree for his other son, Mac - which gives Judith a problem since she's put off telling Mike that Joe is his real father and not Dan. Then there are the unexpected and unwanted deliveries to Judith of unusual goods - delieveries delayed only because of a huge snowstorm. Meanwhile, Reine has her own problems - her husband Bill has taken to dressing up two Chihuahuas.

Judith is coping with her own recovery during all
this, and trying to walk again. Once she manages steps far enough to get into a wheelchair, however, she's mobile once more. Then she learns her own husband has been stabbed in the back and is in the
same hospital - but she's not allowed to see him. When she finally brazens her way into the Intensive Care Unit, not only is Joe not there, but there's no record of a Joe Flynn ever having been a patient.

When Judith eventually realizes who the murderer must be, as well as how and why the deaths were caused, everything falls into place. Evidence, previously sadly lacking, is discovered at last, and even with Judith dislocating her new hip, everything ends well.

Mary Daheim has penned another good whodunit. All characterizations are clearly delineated and delightful. It's also fun to have one of our most respected institutions under the microscope of humor instead of the awe, reverence, and humble acquiescence normally accorded a hospital!

Alan Paul Curtis

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